How to Be Happy - Part 3You’ve read How to Be Happy – Part 1 & Part 2.  But you’re still not sure how to be happy and how ego can sabotage you?  Then read on…

1.  Stop comparing.

Ego says you’re not good enough compared to them – whoever they are.  It also says you’re the best damn thing out there – again, compared to them.  Ego tells you that you can’t do this or that because you’re a stupid person who doesn’t deserve anything.  Or ego says you are better than him/her, you deserve everything, and they deserve nothing.  Comparison of any kind – whether it makes you look better or worse – is the ego talking.  “Ego lives through comparison,” says Eckhart Tolle in his book A New Earth.  Putting someone down makes you feel better.  Spirit believes we are all equal and unique and have something amazing to offer each other.

2.  Stop separating.

You aren’t like them; they aren’t like you.  It doesn’t matter if it takes the stance that you are worse or better than they are, as long as ego separates you from them.  As in war (either between countries or spouses):  they are the enemy; we are united against them.  Separation of any kind is the ego at work.

3.  Believe in abundance.

Ego thinks the world is limited.  Ego believes there is only so much pie to go around.  Ego says you can’t.  Or ego says you can but only if someone else can’t.  For example, ego says, I can win, but only if you lose.  Ego says we both can’t win.  Because ego believes in scarcity.  Spirit believes in abundance.

4.  Don’t hate.

Ego hates people, places, and situations.  It does not discriminate; it’s an equal opportunity hater.  Ego will hate that you are where you are.  If you’ve ever complained about your job, spouse, your house, your car, or any situation, know it is your ego doing the talking.  Eckhart Tolle says, “Complaining is one of the ego’s favorite strategies for strengthening itself.”   It makes up stories that you completely believe in and over-identify with.

5.  Love unconditionally. 

For example, it says, I’ll love myself if I lose 10 pounds.  If there’s an “if” in loving something, that’s ego.  I’ll love you if you make straight As on your report card.  I’ll love you if you love me.  I’ll love you if you buy me nice things.  The trick is having conscious awareness that your love is conditional.  You might not even realize that you are placing conditions on your love.  If you look for it, I’m sure you will find it.

Also, ego expects that if I love you, you will love me.  Ego expects if I wash the clothes, you will take out the trash.  If I perform well at work, the boss will give me a raise.  Ego always has expectations – about life, marriage, spouses, career, kids.  The list is endless.

Spirit loves and expects nothing in return.  Nothing.  Total and complete unconditional love.  Spirit expects nothing except for things to happen as they will.  Whatever will be, will be.  Spirit does not have attachments to outcomes.

6.  Do not possess and obsess. 

It attaches itself to things and people.  The use of words me, my, mine are signs of the ego.  When you possess something to the point that it defines you, that is ego.  Yes, you say, “But it is my car.  I make the payment every month.  I drive it.”  True.  But if someone took away your car, would you still be you?  Or does the car define who you are?  If you had to drive a Honda instead Mercedes, would you feel worse?

In the world of material greed, it is easy to fall into the ego’s trap, and let your things and relationships define you.  The ego wants you to believe that you are nothing without your stuff, your job title, or the people in your life.  It wants to accumulate more and more stuff.  In A New Earth, author Eckhart Tolle says, “The ego tends to equate having with being:  I have, therefore, I am.  And the more I have, the more I am.”


About Christine Boudreau:  From trailer park to country club, Christine’s history proves you can beat the odds and achieve great success.  Today, she leads high-potential people through growth, change, and transition to accomplish goals and reach their maximum effectiveness.  For more information about her, read Christine’s Bio.



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