You read How to Be Happy – Part 1, and accept that your ego is responsible for all the non-stop rambling and chatter in your head. You buy that there are two voices or personalities in your head: one who talks, and one who observes the one who talks. You might even agree that you are not the voice that chatters incessantly, and you are the one who observes.
But. What if…
What if the voice (in your head that you identify with and think is you) is nice?
Maybe you think people with egos are only those people who are always self-centered, cruel, critical, harsh, and judgmental. Conversely, perhaps you are a really nice, caring person who always says positive things to yourself and others. Maybe you don’t have a mean bone in your body. In fact, you’re always going out of your way to do nice things for people. So how could you, of all people, have an ego?
Because even if the ego s
ays nice things, it’s still the ego.
In Untethered Soul, author Michael Singer writes, “It doesn’t make any difference what it’s [the voice inside your head] saying, you are the one who is aware of it. As long as you think that one thing it’s saying is you, but the other thing it’s saying is not you, you’ve lost your objectivity. You may want to think of yourself as the part that says the nice things, but that’s still the voice [ego] talking. You may like what it says, but it’s not you.”
If my ego is nice, why do I care if I have one?
It isn’t a bad thing if you have a nice ego. The problem is if you have no awareness – no objectivity as Singer puts it – that you have an ego, regardless of what it says. It’s easier to detect a negative ego than a positive one. Which is part of the problem. If your ego is nice, you are duped into believing you are ok.
But you aren’t ok because the problem is that you’re not aware you have an ego. A lack of awareness, or consciousness, is your greatest enemy. Without consciousness, the choices you make every single day are guided by a false-self or, at best, a sleeping-self. See how ego has tricked you?
The reality is that most of you don’t have a “nice ego.” In fact, your ego snickers at that term. For most, your ego constantly reminds you that you aren’t good enough and don’t have enough. When will you say, enough is enough?
Michael Singer in Untethered Soul writes, “True personal growth is about transcending the part of you that is not okay and needs protection, [i.e. the ego]. This is done by constantly remembering that you are the one inside that notices the voice talking. That is the way out. The one inside who is aware that you are always talking to yourself about yourself is always silent. It is a doorway to the depths of your being. To be aware that you are watching the voice talk is to stand on the threshold of a fantastic inner journey.”
A Course in Miracles says, “When the ego was made, God also placed in the mind the call to joy. This call is so strong that the ego always dissolves at its sound. That is why you must choose to hear one of the two voices within you. One voice you made yourself, and it is not of God. But the other voice is given to you by God. Who asks you only to listen to it.”
If you listen carefully, you will hear this other voice that is quiet, calm, and offers exponential unconditional love. It’s the one who observes the one who is doing all the talking. The observer is the voice of your spirit (or non-ego). Everything else, and I do mean everything else, is the ego. The observer is the real you. This is the highest form of you. This is the voice to which you should listen. It is the true knower of infinite knowledge and guide of your intuition. Your spirit is where your consciousness lies. Your spirit is who should guide all of your choices and decisions.
Singer says, “The best way to free yourself from this incessant chatter is to step back and view it objectively.”
You will observe the ego saying things like, “You idiot! You screwed up the presentation! He doesn’t like you. You’re not good enough for him. He’s just using you…. Your car is embarrassing! How can you stand to be seen in that?!”
Ego and Spirit
The ego is a control freak who demands attention. It will do everything in its power to get your attention, even tricking you into thinking it is your spirit. It wants you to ignore your spirit. It wants you to believe it is the only voice in your head, which is why it is the loudest. Since you have over-identified with this voice, it thinks that if you ignore it, you will die. Ego thinks if you listen to spirit, then you will cease to be you. Because it thinks it is you.
The ego lives in the past or the future. In fact, the present moment is the enemy to the ego. Ego is analytical, judgmental, and critical. The ego thinks, whereas the spirit feels.
Your spirit lives in the present moment. The spirit is how you connect to Source, to God. It is how you create. God is creation. And when you create, you actually co-create with God. Read more about spirit here.
Eckhart Tolle says in his book A New Earth, “The ego isn’t wrong: it’s just unconscious…. The ego isn’t personal. It isn’t who you are. If you consider the ego to be your personal problem, that’s just more ego.”
If you’re wondering, “I still don’t get it. How is my ego causing my unhappiness?” Read How to Be Happy – Part 3 to learn more.
About Christine Boudreau: From trailer park to country club, Christine’s history proves you can beat the odds and achieve great success. Today, she leads high-potential people through growth, change, and transition to accomplish goals and reach their maximum effectiveness. For more information about her, read Christine’s Bio.
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