The Power of Fancy-Schmancy Things

I go to work. I open a new Word document.

And lose a stare-down contest with a blank page.

My stomach curls into knots.

Über famous marketing genius and all around smarty pants, Seth Godin, says he never gets writers block. He says no one ever talks about getting talkers block. He writes the way he talks. So he never gets blocked.

But I’m stuck. I get another Diet Dr Pepper.

Still nothing.

Then I realize I have some laundry to do. Maybe if I physically move, I’ll come up with something to write.

Anxiety gnaws at me like an arthritic knee. I wring my hands. I click my favorite clicky pen.

Clickity click. Clickity click. Clickity.

Click.

Click.

Click.

Will it be good enough? What if no one cares what I have to say? Hasn’t it already been said before?

Sigh.

I shudder under piles of work. I must write articles, blog posts, newsletters, chapters, sentences, words, thoughts, ideas. Good ideas. Smart ideas. Ideas people feel inspired by. Ideas people want to share.

Are my ideas worth sharing? My frustration crushes me as I worry about my inadequacies.

And it’s not even 9am!

I need something.

More Dr Pepper?

A life coach?

 

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

One of my favorite tools is Dr. Gloria Willcox’s Feelings Wheel. She organizes 72 feelings into a pie chart of sorts and buckets them into these 6 groups:  sad, mad, scared, joyful, powerful, and peaceful.

Looking at the Feelings Wheel here, you see how a feeling like embarrassed is really about feeling insecure, which is really about feeling scared.

I further deconstruct Dr. Willcox’s entire wheel into only 2 emotions: love and fear.

In other words, all of the sad, mad, and scared feelings are actually just fear.

All of the joyful, powerful, and peaceful feelings are actually love.

Think about that for a minute.

At the root of all of your feelings are two things:  fear or love.

In other words, every single feeling comes from either fear or love.

Yep.  Every.  Single.  Feeling.

Let’s say you’re jealous because your friend has a fancy-schmancy house/car/job/fill-in-the-blank. If you peel back the onion of jealously, you find what’s hiding underneath is selfishness. If you peel back selfishness, you find anger. And anger masks fear.

You’re not jealous of your friend, you’re afraid you’ll never have a fancy-schmancy house/car/job/fill-in-the-blank. And you’re afraid if you don’t have that thing, no one will like you.

In other words, you’re afraid you’re not good enough without that fancy-schmancy thing.

Don’t let that scare you.

Fear is nature’s way of alerting you to potential dangers.

Fear protected you during caveman days by detecting real dangers like lions, tigers, and bears.

Today, feelings still sense risk, but sometimes most of the time the risks aren’t all that real.

Like being afraid your writing is horrible, and no one will read it. Or feeling embarrassed about your dream job, so you don’t pursue it.

Next time you feel jealous, stupid, or embarrassed, ask yourself what are you afraid of?

 

Running with Love

Fear is a great motivator.  It forces you to run away from something, like a hungry lion.

But only love moves you to run toward something.

And therein lies the beauty of the Feelings Wheel: The thin line separates love from fear.  It is two sides of the same coin.

Do you buy a fancy-schmancy new house out of fear (afraid you won’t by admired by certain people) or love (the architecture and large backyard remind you of summers at Grandma’s)?

Do you choose a career because you’re afraid if you don’t, your parents/peers/society won’t approve? Or do you choose the career because it’s what you love to do and is an expression of your soul?

Any time you make choices based on fear, love gets pushed aside.

 

When love gets pushed aside, God gets pushed aside.

The more time you spend in fear-based feelings, the further you are from God.

Because emotions are energy. Energy vibrates. Fearful emotions vibrate at a lower frequency. Loving emotions vibrate at a higher frequency.

God and angels vibrate at the highest frequency – love.

If you want to connect with God and angels, you gotta get on their wavelength and vibrate at the highest frequency. The more time you spend in the higher emotions, the closer you will be to higher powers.

In her book My Stroke of Insight, Jill Bolte Taylor, says, “…when we feel intense negative emotions like anger, jealousy, or frustration, we are actively running complex circuitry in our brain that feels so familiar that we feel strong and powerful.”

She also says, “I learned that I had the power to choose to hook into a feeling and prolong its presence in my body, or just let it quickly flow right out of me.”

She describes that an emotion physiologically runs through our bodies in 90 seconds.

Next time you feel a negative emotion bubble up, pause and allow it to find its way out of your physical system. Then choose to replace it with kind, loving thoughts.

Or said another way:  You choose your emotions; they don’t choose you. You own the power of decision. If you want to feel excited, then choose to feel that way. If you want to feel scared, then feel that way. It doesn’t matter which emotion you choose – as long as you realize it’s you who does the choosing.

Sort of.

 

The Devil Made Me Do It

There’s two voices in your head constantly battling for power – ego and spirit. Devil and angel. The historical battle of good vs evil lives in the daily minutia of your choices.

Fear is nothing more than the ego at work. Ego is the boss of the lower emotions.

When you feel fear, let it be a red flag that ego is driving your decisions.

Ego never once gave anyone good advice.

Ego loves to spend time on the fear side of the Feelings Wheel. For example, the more ego keeps you focused on depression, shame, and guilt, the less your spirit gets to come out and play.

Ego does not want your spirit to play.

Because when your spirit is in charge, life seems breezier. Easier. Less stressful. Emotions like content, trusting, hopeful, and energetic emerge. When you spend time on the love side of the Feelings Wheel, ego loses.

Ego hates to lose.

So it tells you things like your writing is terrible, and no one will read it. It tells you that your dreams of becoming a commercial airline pilot died with your youth. It tells you that you better keep that miserable job you hate so you can afford that European Rover you can’t afford.

It’s smart that way.

But you’re smarter.

You’re reading this.

Which tells me that my writing isn’t that crappy.

And fear is a big, fat liar.

So next time you feel fear, tell ego thanks, but no thanks.

Feel the fear, but run with love toward that thing you want.

It will be waiting with open arms.

And if you’re lucky, a Diet Dr Pepper.

But for the Grace of God Go I

But for the grace of God go ITime is measured in many ways.  By the breaths we take, the lives we affect, the pages we turn on the calendar…

Grace visits us in the largest and smallest of moments. Grace is the pause before the sigh. The hope beyond the suffering.

As my step-sister, Judy, nears the end of her battle with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, she writes:

“Well, folks, the guess work is over, kinda. In 2005, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s MALT Lymphoma and went through all of the scary stuff that goes with it. Now in Grace Personifieda very tragic but enlightening way, after 9 years, my lungs and my spleen are covered with tumors that are going to be my end.
Not to worry, I have grand plans and am looking forward to the adventure that I’m about to embark on.
Believe me when I say that I am not loony, I am scared of pain and panic, just not my trip. I felt sure this would be the best time to talk of this because tonight starts the morphine and loopy drugs.
I have appreciated each and every one of you. You have brought so many oohs and aws and laughs and tears. I don’t know you all personally but, I feel a kinship.”

There is a certain clarity that is demanded of us when the physicality of life begins its end.  No one knows that lucidity like those who travel that journey.  As spiritual leaders, they personify grace, courage, and faith. We find inspiration in their words, as they find peace in their hearts.

Like the poetic words of Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet:
“…In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity….”

Judy graces us with the reminder that while she now measures time in hours, eternity is but seconds away.

May God bless her as she crosses-over, hold her in His arms, and remind her that she is forever.

For those who have loved and lost, may every shining star that glows in every night sky remind you how bright your loved ones are.

How to Get What You Really Want in Life

Do you ever wonder how to get what you really want in life?  

Easy. Let your soul glow.

Let me explain.

You were born with a light inside:  a God-given talent.  Your soul’s glow.  An internal fingerprint that resembles no other fingerprint in any shape or form.

Your soul’s glow shines in only the way that your  light can.  It is unique to you.  God put that light in you for a reason.  God does every single thing for a reason, including you.

What you really want in life is the courage to let your soul glow.

It’s your responsibility to shine the light.  Find the light.  Be the light.  Nurture the light.  Let it grow and glow.

How to Get What You Really Want in Life by Christine Boudreau Life CoachBecause if you aren’t you, who will you be?  If your  significant, individual light does not shine, from where will the light come?  Our world will be a shade darker.  Isn’t our world dark enough?

I’ll let you in on a secret:  If you’re not happy, chances are it’s because you’re not expressing the real you.  You’re not glowing.

What you really want is to be the authentic you, and use your God-given talents.

You might ask, but what is my light?  Well, it really is simple to determine because God gives us clues to our authentic selves.  Look no further than what you love to do.  What are you doing when time flies?

Do more of that thing.

Maybe your God-given talent is baking cookies.  Everyone knows that you bake the very best cookies.  They even tell you so.  All the people, who know about your cookies, constantly request a batch.  They beg, they plead, they ask:  When you gonna bake more of those cookies?  But you have a day job because somebody’s got to pay the bills.  Nonetheless, you dream of earning a living baking cookies.

Oooh  how you dream of earning a living baking cookies!  You don’t have to be a Kardashian.  You don’t even need a cookie dynasty.  You just want to earn an honest living.  Yet even that seems impossible.  You ponder…  Where would you get the cash?  How would you find customers?  You wring your hands.  You wish you knew how to make the dream a reality!  Sigh.  Guess you’ll put that dream on a shelf.  Stupid fool.  Dreams are for kids.  How in the world would anyone make a living selling cookies?

It’s simple:  Surrender to God.

Not because God’s got a magic oven that bakes golden cookies.  Not because you’re lazy and expect someone else to do all the work.  It’s because when you surrender all of your worries, doubts, fears, and insecurities to God – and I mean really surrender them – miracles happen.  How do you surrender?  What exactly does that mean?

The Surrender Prayer and My Prayer for You will get you started.  I promise that God will lead the way.  All you need to do is have faith and follow His lead.  Listen to His advice.  He’ll leave a trail of breadcrumbs.  Trust me.  That’s how I started this blog and found you.

This is bigger than you.

Remember that by shining your light, and allowing your soul to glow, you lead the way for all of us.  It’s not just cookies you are baking, but examples you are setting.  When you have the courage to take the leap of faith to live authentically, it gives the rest of us inspiration and permission to do the same.  And when we all shine, the world glows with authenticity and love.

 


 

About Christine:  From trailer park to country club, Christine’s history proves you can beat the odds and achieve great success.  Today, she leads high-potential people through growth, change, and transition to accomplish goals and reach their maximum effectiveness.  For more information about her, read Christine’s Bio.

 


 

6 Steps to Happiness

6 Steps to Happiness by Christine BoudreauYou can’t quite place your finger on it, but you know something isn’t right.  You’re searching for something.  You try to satisfy your hunger with things.  With people.  With chocolate.  With a glass of wine.  Definitely with busy-ness.  The kids and laundry keep your mind off that thing that isn’t quite right.  Dr. Brene Brown, in her book Daring Greatly, calls this avoidance “numbing out.”  Regardless, the yearning is still there.

At thirty-five years old, I had a happiness deficiency.  A hunger that I couldn’t fill – no matter how many blingy things I bought, or cookies I consumed.  I achieved all of my goals, and yet, I was so darn miserable.  Until I honestly affirmed my deepest passions, dreams, hopes, and most importantly my fears, I was frozen stiff.  Numbed out.

Trust me.  The itch won’t go away until you stare it dead in the eyes.  Accept your reality.  Face your fears.  Do what you’ve always wanted to do.  Have you got the courage?  Do you know the recipe?  Follow the six steps below, and you could be one step closer to the authentic, happy you.

1.  We are all one.

Everything in the universe is connected.  Quantum physics teaches us this.  When you hurt someone, you hurt all.  When you love someone, you love all.  When you are mean/rude/angry with someone, you are mean/rude/angry to yourself.  There is no separation between me and you.  Only connectedness.  Whatever you give, you also receive.  So if I don’t respect you, guess what?  I don’t respect myself.  The energy you put out in the world is coming right back atcha, baby.  We’re connected like a stack of brand new Legos.  And those sons-of-bitches aren’t coming apart.

2.  Everything happens for a reason.

There absolutely are no coincidences.  If you accept that the person sitting next to you at lunch is no coincidence, will you start a conversation?  Where will it lead?  Maybe you will find a new business partner, a future spouse, or a new babysitter. Try it out – take today and trust that every single thing happens for a specific reason.  Ask, what is the higher meaning?  Be open to witnessing a miracle.  And remember, perhaps you are the miracle for someone else.  Perhaps you cross paths with someone to provide them with something they need.  Trust and have faith that you are always exactly where you need to be.  Even if it is having a love affair with some Diet Dr Pepper.  Slurp.  God is good.

3.  Men do love unconditionally.

There is a God.  Seriously, there is a God.  Some call God by another name.  Whatever term you choose, know a higher power exists and wants only the best for you and loves you unconditionally.  No matter what.  For reals.  Let this unconditional love free you.

Imagine for a minute exactly what it means to be unconditionally loved by a higher power.  At the root of unconditional love is forgiveness.  God forgives you for everything “wrong” you have done.  Stop beating yourself up.  Don’t cringe every time you think about that thing that you did.  Let go, and let God.  Let His unconditional love surround you, lift you, and fill your heart with faith and trust.

4.  Observe your ego.  Follow your spirit.

It is critical to discern between the voice that is your ego and voice that is your spirit.  And always, always work to follow the sound of your spirit.  Ego is usually the loudest voice in your head, and the one you have defined as you.  But it isn’t you.  There’s another voice in your head that is quiet, loving, and omniscient.  This is the real you.  This is your spirit.  In order to hear your spirit, you must observe the ego.  The one doing the observing is your spirit.  If you follow the ego, it will take you down a path of self-destruction masquerading as your life.  Don’t fall for this trick.  Choose spirit.  Love will follow.

5.  Have awareness.

To have awareness means that you are no longer living under the shroud the ego has placed upon your eyes.  This shroud is difficult to detect.  You must shift your view.  Refocus your attention.  Practice observation.

Awareness is to the soul like a clean windshield is to a driver.  It is not best to drive by focusing on the dirt on the windshield; instead, you look through the windshield and beyond the dirt.  By focusing on the dirt, you live your life unconsciously, and never really know where you are going.

Awaken your energies to the world beyond the dirt.  Look through the windshield to see a vast horizon and have a consciousness of things beyond the dirt.  Then, you have the ability to consciously create the world you live in by steering your life in a purposeful and meaningful direction.

6.  There is only love and fear.

Everything comes down to only two things:  love or fear.  Yes, everything.  Think of a problem you are struggling with right now.  Trace the root cause, and you will find either fear or love.  If fear, then choose another course of action.  If love, proceed as planned.  Fear is disguised as jealousy, anger, sadness, sorrow, pain, insecurity, anxiety, worry, etc.  Fear comes from your ego.  Love comes from your spirit.  They are often 2 sides of the same coin so have keen awareness of what is motivating you.

Let’s say you’re thinking of changing jobs.  Are you doing so out of fear or love?  What is motivating you?  Fear you won’t make enough money in the current job?  Or perhaps your motivation is admiration and respect, i.e., love, for the new company.  Always know if the root is fear or love, and never do something out of fear.


 

About Christine Boudreau:  From trailer park to country club, Christine’s history proves you can beat the odds and achieve great success.  Today, she leads high-potential people through growth, change, and transition to accomplish goals and reach their maximum effectiveness.  For more information about her, read Christine’s Bio.

 


 

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