You can’t quite place your finger on it, but you know something isn’t right. You’re searching for something. You try to satisfy your hunger with things. With people. With chocolate. With a glass of wine. Definitely with busy-ness. The kids and laundry keep your mind off that thing that isn’t quite right. Dr. Brene Brown, in her book Daring Greatly, calls this avoidance “numbing out.” Regardless, the yearning is still there.
At thirty-five years old, I had a happiness deficiency. A hunger that I couldn’t fill – no matter how many blingy things I bought, or cookies I consumed. I achieved all of my goals, and yet, I was so darn miserable. Until I honestly affirmed my deepest passions, dreams, hopes, and most importantly my fears, I was frozen stiff. Numbed out.
Trust me. The itch won’t go away until you stare it dead in the eyes. Accept your reality. Face your fears. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. Have you got the courage? Do you know the recipe? Follow the six steps below, and you could be one step closer to the authentic, happy you.
1. We are all one.
Everything in the universe is connected. Quantum physics teaches us this. When you hurt someone, you hurt all. When you love someone, you love all. When you are mean/rude/angry with someone, you are mean/rude/angry to yourself. There is no separation between me and you. Only connectedness. Whatever you give, you also receive. So if I don’t respect you, guess what? I don’t respect myself. The energy you put out in the world is coming right back atcha, baby. We’re connected like a stack of brand new Legos. And those sons-of-bitches aren’t coming apart.
2. Everything happens for a reason.
There absolutely are no coincidences. If you accept that the person sitting next to you at lunch is no coincidence, will you start a conversation? Where will it lead? Maybe you will find a new business partner, a future spouse, or a new babysitter. Try it out – take today and trust that every single thing happens for a specific reason. Ask, what is the higher meaning? Be open to witnessing a miracle. And remember, perhaps you are the miracle for someone else. Perhaps you cross paths with someone to provide them with something they need. Trust and have faith that you are always exactly where you need to be. Even if it is having a love affair with some Diet Dr Pepper. Slurp. God is good.
3. Men do love unconditionally.
There is a God. Seriously, there is a God. Some call God by another name. Whatever term you choose, know a higher power exists and wants only the best for you and loves you unconditionally. No matter what. For reals. Let this unconditional love free you.
Imagine for a minute exactly what it means to be unconditionally loved by a higher power. At the root of unconditional love is forgiveness. God forgives you for everything “wrong” you have done. Stop beating yourself up. Don’t cringe every time you think about that thing that you did. Let go, and let God. Let His unconditional love surround you, lift you, and fill your heart with faith and trust.
4. Observe your ego. Follow your spirit.
It is critical to discern between the voice that is your ego and voice that is your spirit. And always, always work to follow the sound of your spirit. Ego is usually the loudest voice in your head, and the one you have defined as you. But it isn’t you. There’s another voice in your head that is quiet, loving, and omniscient. This is the real you. This is your spirit. In order to hear your spirit, you must observe the ego. The one doing the observing is your spirit. If you follow the ego, it will take you down a path of self-destruction masquerading as your life. Don’t fall for this trick. Choose spirit. Love will follow.
5. Have awareness.
To have awareness means that you are no longer living under the shroud the ego has placed upon your eyes. This shroud is difficult to detect. You must shift your view. Refocus your attention. Practice observation.
Awareness is to the soul like a clean windshield is to a driver. It is not best to drive by focusing on the dirt on the windshield; instead, you look through the windshield and beyond the dirt. By focusing on the dirt, you live your life unconsciously, and never really know where you are going.
Awaken your energies to the world beyond the dirt. Look through the windshield to see a vast horizon and have a consciousness of things beyond the dirt. Then, you have the ability to consciously create the world you live in by steering your life in a purposeful and meaningful direction.
6. There is only love and fear.
Everything comes down to only two things: love or fear. Yes, everything. Think of a problem you are struggling with right now. Trace the root cause, and you will find either fear or love. If fear, then choose another course of action. If love, proceed as planned. Fear is disguised as jealousy, anger, sadness, sorrow, pain, insecurity, anxiety, worry, etc. Fear comes from your ego. Love comes from your spirit. They are often 2 sides of the same coin so have keen awareness of what is motivating you.
Let’s say you’re thinking of changing jobs. Are you doing so out of fear or love? What is motivating you? Fear you won’t make enough money in the current job? Or perhaps your motivation is admiration and respect, i.e., love, for the new company. Always know if the root is fear or love, and never do something out of fear.
About Christine Boudreau: From trailer park to country club, Christine’s history proves you can beat the odds and achieve great success. Today, she leads high-potential people through growth, change, and transition to accomplish goals and reach their maximum effectiveness. For more information about her, read Christine’s Bio.
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